Now that the University has reduced my classes to almost zero, I have, for the first time in decades, found an opening that has fostered a renaissance. I find myself with many hours in which to go back through the poems on this blog and edit them. As a result, they are taking more fluent and evocative shapes. Then again, I could be like Sisyphus with his stone. Who knows.
So far, I’ve edited back to July ’23. But I intend to keep going. I intend to leave these poems as my legacy, as well as the novel I have finished, and the one I am working on now. Finally, I hope to write a nonfiction book, based on the concept of ‘the Good’ expressed in this blog.
Of course, I am in poverty and have mediocre health, still
mostly on crutches. But through poetry,
literary prose and philosophy, I strive to make a higher statement, one that
transcends my mortal miseries and speaks to the universe.
As far as my longevity, I find life on this Earth to be cruel, unjust and demanding, the price of its miracles, not only suffering and death, but the sadism and narcissism that are so successful at taking power and immersing everyone and everything else in misery. I myself was born with privilege and was able to get highly educated, which allowed me to develop psychological strategies for survival and meaning. I can find ecstasy simply by meditating or staring at a leaf, or writing a poem. But the large majority of people never get the unfair advantages I had. Many, for instance, are born into poverty or even slavery. Many are born into dictatorships overlorded by de facto kings who demand to be worshipped, on pain of torturous incarceration. And let us remember, too, that there are animals on this planet that are not human, animals that feel pain and emotion, and they are all hostage to our selfishness, greed, fear, and ignorance. We harness other animals to our needs, or destroy their environments and extinct species for even a meager gain.
It's an incredibly barbaric world, and humanity is probably about to blow it all up with nuclear weapons. Making it worse, in my mind, this armageddon is not fated. It is possible for humans to evolve ethically and live in beauty, decency and love. But this is not going to happen, because we are trapped by fear. This goes back to our primal needs--to eat, to have stable shelter, to feel safe. And here I also blame nature, because if we don't eat, our own bodies torture us. If we don't have stable shelter, our bodies, again, torture us with inflictions of cold and heat that can lead to disease. Our bodies have elaborate nervous system, including pain mechanims, that can be exploited by our fellow humans to coerce us into slavery and other degradations. This is the 'fault' of nature itself, which has made us vulnerable to extremes both physical and mental, delightful extremes, yes, but also the opposite.
So, it's a very brutal planet, the price of its beauties. Evolution has been as vicious as it has been kind. I think the best we humans can do is to seek the Good with an open-mind and promote it through ethical acts. I say 'open mind' because too often people fanatically embrace religion, for it helps them to pretend that that the misery and injustice they suffer will someday be compensated for by an all-Good God in heaven. They do this because facing the truth is too painful. Reality induces such intense fear that they cannot handle it any other way.
Such fanaticism, of course, breeds ignorance--such as racism, sexism and anti-LGBTQ--and leads to war, which increases suffering. It also makes one susceptible to the command of theocratic tyrants, and in that aspect fanatic people do horrific things, such as participate in inquisitions and crusades. It's a grand irony that fanatics who claim to follow an All-Loving God inflict so much cruelty, suffering and oppression, making life far worse for everyone.
As far as my own longevity, half of me wants to quote Herodotus, "This life is so sorry a thing ... that death is a delightful refuge for the weary." The other half of me finds rapture and wonder in the beauty of the universe, nature, and many aspects of human expression. Whenever anyone does something good, it is a gift to all of us. It is a seed.
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