Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Acceptance: Ex Cathedra Literary Magazine

I may be violating a high level ecclesiastic code just by mentioning my acceptance. After all, the email arriving with the good news contained this ominous footer:

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This email, including any attachments, contains information from Ex Cathedra Literary Magazine, which may be confidential or privileged. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient, be aware that any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of the contents of this information is prohibited. If you have received this email in error, please notify the sender immediately by "reply to sender only" message and destroy all electronic and hard copies of the communication, including attachments.

But I am so ebullient that I am willing to risk excommunication by the Pope, which is to say the editors. Ah, I’m not making any sense! Well, the situation is this: Ex Cathedra dares to be satirical right down to the attitudes and proclamations of the staff. They’ve obviously endured a good dose of catechism, for they wield their croziers and triregnums with superb sanctimony and grace.

All this would be too much and too ridiculous if it were not carried off with just the right amount of sarcasm and derring-do, balanced with careful writing and a fig leaf of tact. So far, the powers behind the scenes at Ex Cathedra have done it. Judging by the quality of poetry they publish and the very low acceptance rate (2% for the latest issue), they are handling an increasing flood of submissions. This wouldn’t surprise me at all, given the originality and charisma of their very unique and comical approach. Indeed, there is a touch of genius in the genesis of this project. The serious sort that draws attention on a wide scale.

I’m going to risk further papal sanctions by quoting from my privileged acceptance letter once more, despite the above CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE, which specifically applies to entities such as Owl Who Laughs (usually I can ignore contracts because they only apply to individuals and not entities--but these editors are smart!):


The Editors of Ex Cathedra Literary Magazine have thoroughly read your poetry submission. They are pleased to welcome [your poems] into the crisp, new pages of the third issue of Ex Cathedra Literary Magazine: The Third Doctrine, which will appear in its digital form on 27 March 2010. Congratulations!

The Editors are very excited to have found a home for your work and cannot wait to display it to an international audience, alongside some of the greatest writers of the Twenty-First Century. The acceptance rate for this particular issue is projected to be below 2%, with thousands of submissions from outstanding authors around the world.


At this rate of accelerative popularity the editors of Ex Cathedra might someday surpass the real Pope in influence; and then we will have true lovers of great poetry where they should be--holding the keys to paradise.

Thank you Ex Cathedra and especially Arton Gjonbalaj, Editor-in-Chief (I hope I haven’t committed yet another heresy by mentioning this hallowed name).



  1. I too received the much-coveted letter but have yet to receive a link to The Third Doctrine. What about you?

  2. I must admit, the decreed date of March 27 is quickly sliding into the shadowy past; and it seems, too, that my faith in our literary Pope is correspondingly fading.

    I can't even access the First or Second Doctrine (issues); and I remember opening them online before.

    It's as if the Throne vaporized, leaving nothing but a stump:


    Somehow I continue to have faith. We are still early in the tardiness of his holiness. In any case, the concept and execution of Ex Cathedra was brilliant for a while. I truly hope it will continue to shine, at least until all accepted poets get their promised moment in the light.