Poem: Thoughts Of a Fly

 

Thoughts Of a Fly

 

the bumpers and slots

only pretend to let me steer.

 

i’m a ricochet

in a mischievous pinball show.

 

loops of strength

flirt with stretching velocity.

 

one lust-fed weekend zooms to enfold

the crisscrossing haze of time.

 

the game lacks horizon.

complex tumblers fail to resist.

 

i open the gate

everyone else thought tricky--

 

sure, agile, indefati-

gable and smooth--

 

to conquer on a rollercoaster

many mountains of feast.

 

Jacob’s rungs loom

in a honeycomb of prisms:

 

i ascend through acceleration,

through vector, through fraying yips.

 

a last green-fired blaze

of tensor and orgasm

 

burns away my crimes.

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This poem was originally published in Crack the Spine in 2013.  I am republishing past poems for I feel it could all end soon.  I am old. I am experiencing grief at the steep decline of the USA.  My heart literally twangs, now and then.  And I have no money or insurance to see a doctor.  Getting medical help is not a right in my country.  You have to earn it.  And, frankly, I am tired of jumping through bureaucratic hoops, like a circus pony, to get money to see a doctor from the government.  "You want to see a doctor?  First, jump through this hoop.  And then this one.  And then maybe we will pay for you to get medical help.  Maybe.  Down the road."