I found this on a slip of paper among some dandelions! Wow!
Excerpt from the Intergalactic Garden's Manual on Xenoforms (Seventeenth Petal Unfolding)
The human being, often referred to as “person” in the singular or “people” in the plural, is a stage three sentient that inhabits the planet Earth in the Milky Way. Like most stage 3 sentients they are ethically primitive, unable to prevent fear and greed from dominating their power structures. For this reason, they have entered what Aaubula Kiij refers to as the doom-singer phase of their infestation, with the chance of self-extinction hovering around 80% over the next cosmic millisecond (CM).
Predictably, the species wiped out competitors, like their fellow language-using hominid the Neanderthal, and misused their superior hunting and tool-making skills to deface and overpopulate the world that gave them so many gifts. They have also extincted many of their fellow animals and decimated the remainder. Brutal killing, torture, and abuse of animals and plants is systematic and taken for granted. The human being ascribes to the sub-philosophical notion that it “owns” the Earth, and considers itself the most important creature in the universe. Their various forms of religion focus on salvation of a small minority through unspeakable apocalypse.
Also predictably, the self-oriented male half of the people savagely mistreats and abuses the life-giving, nurturing, care-oriented female half. Byovd Vfdjkwu has argued through convincing empirical study that the males are at least two or three ethical steps behind the females. She concludes that the relative idiocy of the males will be the primary difficulty in attempting to salvage this dying, deluded species. The female, in contrast, is almost as karmically sound as some other animals on Earth, such as warblers, whales and bears. No animal on Earth has achieved the karmic superiority of some of its plant species, two notables being baobab trees and dandelions.
Needless to say, the species of people is high on the Intergalactic Garden’s list for intervention. Assimilation Scouts have already been sent to the planet, and xeno-acclimation will allow human guise in less than a CM.
Without intervention, the prognosis for the human being is as follows: pathological abuse of the lovely Earth and continued cruelty, gluttony, savagery and war--until they self-eradicate or lock into a death loop from which no progress is possible and hellish conditions erupt in short cycles. Worries at the IG are high that the human being will soon invent contagious DNA-eaters, because they are beginning to tinker with nanotechnology. If DNA-eaters are invented (in the rush to produce the ultimate weapon, for example) all life on Earth could be destroyed, including the bacterial stratum.
Fortunately, it is likely that the first DNA-eaters created by humans will only be capable of wiping out their own species. Broad spectrum DNA-eaters are technologically distant. Some in the IG recommend letting humans destroy themselves with DNA-eaters, if they design and implement this scourge themselves. Earth will then be free of the infestation, and future flourishing of this magnificent planet, rich in precious ecosystems, can be assured through IG Nurturance.