Very tired, mostly working on my novel.
It's commonly trumpeted that violence and ignorance aren't the way to settle things. But they do settle things very effectively. And have. That white people are in power in this country is a testimony to such negative force.
We came, we hated, lusted after, conquered, and committed genocide. And we won. We won't even admit that's how it went. In strict black-and-white patriotism, we pretend that good always triumphs over evil. "Manifest Destiny" and all that Orwellian soul-rot.
Now our stupidity has cursed the world with massive ecological disruption and nuclear weapons poised to go off. It will be a miracle if they don't detonate within the next one hundred years. There will be plenty of chaos (disese, migration, hunger, vicious recrimination, etc.) caused by global warming.
We don't see. We won't see. We've made sight impossible by pushing all the ugliness out of our operative worldview. How we as a culture see things is massively different than how they are.
So, I'm like, who cares if I get ahead--who wants to get ahead in this culture? Who wants to be considered successful by the imperial mindset that is a catalyst for greed, ignorance, war and grand failure?
I do hope to reach out to the tens of millions of humans who are like me. We are somewhat aware, yet unable to stop the train from going over the cliff.
You shake someone, point to the cliff, say, "look, we're going over!" and they call you names, say you are ignorant and hate-filled. They project it all onto you.
And you've just got to bear that burden. Fortunately, like I said, I'm not the only one, otherwise I'd be an insane prophet.